Went to the Muse concert today at the fort worth convention center. It was pretty much fucking awesome. Yup. No words can explain it. So that's the up.
The down? After over a year of chasing this girl and having many a great times with her, she decided to end this "us" that has been starting to develop. And its all due to her meeting someone else in the town she now lives in. I mean, its whatever. Yes i'm bummed. But thats it. I'm bummed. I feel more angry at myself because I never sat her down and told her exactly what I felt and what I wanted to tell her. So, anger from regret?
But its whatever.... In the end, I just hope we'll still stay in touch and when she's back in Austin, maybe i'll get more chances. who knows?
So. I was in a conversation with a friend over facebook chat. Yup, facebook chat. Funny? I think so.... It used to be msn messaging, aim, yahoo. Now facebook!
Anyways. School starts tomorrow. and I said "school sucks. its no fun" and she told me. "Yeah its fun. Do you not enjoying photoshopping, model making, and all that? Because I do." I thought about it for a while.
Yeah. Its fun. I mean... its more fun than other school work, right? More fun than numbers or writing essays. But in the end, it all comes down to my livelihood. I'm doing this architecture work (plus engineering) to get a degree, to get a job and a lifestyle. But its not more fun than doing nothing all day. If I were rich, I'd just sit around all day and do nothing. So in the end... its still work. Fun work, perhaps.
Ugh. so, this dual arch/arch eng majoring is really building up to be a damn pain in my butt. I mean... Can't get classes to sort out + the stupid conflicts + all that hours + exams. Its just frustrating some times.
Sound building starts Wed., and if I don't get into my thermo class, I can't take Building Environmental Systems (bes). And if i can't take bes, then i wont pass sound building. Meaning, i would just drop sound building and take it next year. So... now i'm a year behind. Hmmm... Not sure if this would be good. But we will have to see.
Anyways. I'll see how it goes. School starts tomorrow. Hmm.
Well, its here! 2010 is here and this decade feels like the last.
I have hopes. But the more I think about it... the more complicated it gets.
My head just keeps running and running.
What should I do this year differently? What should I do the same? What will make me better? what will make me succeed? Was last year successful? Was last year what I wanted it to be?
If I'm not where I am now, what should I do to get where I want to be?
Ughhh.. It just makes me so frustrated to the point where I just dont want to do anything.
But at the same time, I dont want fate/life/etc to go where it goes. I want to be able to control my own future. So, why am I not where I want to be? Did I not make last year mine? I thought I had a wonderful 2009 year, but where I am now... the things that seem important to me aren't where I want them to be. Am I wrong? do I have my priorities straight? ughhh.. more questions.
I really wish I could figure these things out. We shall see. I guess I'll do what I always do: focus on school...and let everything else fall where they fall as time goes on.
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